!!! Trapped In Life !!!

This is me. The entity of infinite perfection. The benchmark of idealism. The paradigm of supremacy. The world acknowledges my existence, without my appeal. It cherishes the land I tread on, lingering on my scent. Echoes of my presence disrupt cynical hearts, illuminating their blackened aura. My mortality galvanizes craving, in the most selfless beings, as they struggle to become me. The splendor of my appearance breeds envy in all individuals. Nothing can compare to the beautiful life that I live.Then whose reflection do I see? A distorted life splintered across the image. The sensation of radiance lost, with shades of grey engulfing all hues. Loneliness settled comfortably on the heavy sighs, as salt water rolls away to the ground. A desperate plea for a savior, to resurrect a dying soul, goes unheard by deaf ears. Haunting nightmares induce fear to live freely, while shadowy figures constantly point accusing fingers at me. Sanity seems to be slipping away, into total madness, as marks are engraved in the skin. A dark dreary world seems to have trapped me in its realm.I seem to be caught up in fleeting illusions, as the hand of the clock moves on. I get pushed through a variety of joys and heartaches, as those illusions stamp their presence on me. I’ve been longing to break away, from the chains that have bounded me to this susceptible mind frame. The inability to distinguish, what I have lived and what I imagine, heats up the emotional turmoil brewing inside my head. But like other emotions lost, pain and pleasure will soon fade into each other, as I become numb to the world, to my body and my mortal existence.

Was born pure as the Virgin Mary,
But the years heightened the darkness that I now carry.
Heart blackened more than coal,
Killed the purity of the Holy soul.

Wicked deeds poison in me every part,
Tried to live from the innocent start,
But the body yearns and will is weak,
For the Earthly pleasures, I wish to seek.

I crawl to my knees to your Grace,
Hoping for forgiveness so before You, I can show my wretched face.
Can my tears wipe my sins away?
How can my arrogance lead me on the right way?

At the time when Your beloveds stand tall,
Will I be amongst them or the ones who take the fall?
Will Your Hand of Mercy reach me in time?
Or will I be denied forever for my heinous crimes.

I seek to unravel the Gospel truth,
To uncover the precious diamond underneath the worthless soot.
I thrist for the Heavenly sign,
A life christened to find the salvation thats mine.

I tremble at the thought of You forsaking me,
Fortifying myself somehow against demons I can not see.
Only Your Blessed Name keeps me far from harm,
Your Presence alone makes me feel calm.

The blood in my veins for You I'll spill,
Nothing matters to me expect Your Almighty Will.
The holder of my soul and secrets i keep,
I beg of You not to humiliate me at the time we meet.